


Cheese Sandwich

by PastoralSymphony



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: 3x06, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff and Angst, M/M, POV Isak Valtersen, Season/Series 03, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:14:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24281920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PastoralSymphony/pseuds/PastoralSymphony
Summary: “Wait” Isak stopped walking and looked back at his hand – not the one holding his sandwich, but the one Even was holding by the wrist. “Can we –“ Isak raised his eyes to meet Even’s, which had a look in them Isak wasn’t used to seeing. Even always looked so sure of himself, so confident, like he always knew what he was doing. In this moment though, he looked almost scared “Can we talk?” Even finished, loosening the grip of Isak’s wrist, but still not letting go “Please?”-What if Even had held Isak's hand while he tried leaving after buying the cheese sandwich?
Relationships: Even Bech Næsheim/Isak Valtersen
Comments: 13
Kudos: 114





	Cheese Sandwich

“I think I gotta go” Isak said, as fast as he could, stepping aside to walk away from Even. He didn’t want to deal with this right now. He wasn’t even sure how he felt – a mixture of sadness and anger, that almost disappeared when he locked eyes with the other boy. Isak knew that if he was to stand there a while longer, Even would once again get what he wanted – whatever that was – and Isak would walk away with nothing.

So Isak would leave first and not give Even the opportunity to hurt him again.

And he almost did, if only Even hadn’t grabbed his hand and he walked past him.

“Wait” Isak stopped walking and looked back at his hand – not the one holding his sandwich, but the one Even was holding by the wrist. “Can we –“ Isak raised his eyes to meet Even’s, which had a look in them Isak wasn’t used to seeing. Even always looked so sure of himself, so confident, like he always knew what he was doing. In this moment though, he looked almost scared “Can we talk?” Even finished, loosening the grip of Isak’s wrist, but still not letting go “Please?”

Isak wanted to say no. He wanted to walk away, to tell Even Go find Sonja, I’m sure she’d love to talk to you, to pull his wrist and walk away and not look back. But all that came out of his mouth hen he opened it, looking at Even with a look he knew was telling Even everything – telling him Isak was sad and scared and unsure, was “Yeah”.

“Yeah?” Even said, his mouth turning into a smile, still small, but making him look a lot more like himself. 

“I have class in 20 minutes though, so we have to be quick” Isak found himself saying, turning his glaze to the floor yet again. This was a good idea, this way he could leave when the conversation turned into what he knew it would – Even explaining to him that he was back with Sonja, that he didn’t like him that way, that the weekend they spent together in Isak’s room meant nothing and Sorry Isak, you are just unlovable. 

“Okay. Yeah, okay, let’s – let’s go” Even sounded out of breath as he let go of Isak’s wrist and started walking towards a nearby bench, close enough to be a short walk, but far enough no one would be around while they talked.

Isak watched as Even walked away, obviously expecting Isak to follow, not even looking back. And Isak did.

Isak hopped on the bench, sitting besides Even on the back of it, just like they did the first time they talked. Isak thought he couldn’t possibly be more nervous than he as back then, but that was clearly a mistake, because in this moment he was so nervous he couldn’t even bring himself to eat his sandwich, which he still held in his hand. And that’s where he kept his stare at – his sandwich, maybe as a way to run away of the dreaded conversation he was about to have, maybe to stop himself from looking at Even, who looked ridiculously good today with his stupid looking hair and face and –

“Hi” Even said again, turning his body slightly, facing Isak. His hands were running up and down his thighs, as if he was feeling cold. “This is a bit awkward, isn’t it?” Even tried, letting out a small chuckle while saying it.

“What do you want?” Isak looked at Even, knowing his sentence came out colder than what he actually felt – which was nervous, but still warm, because that was what Even did to him, even after what he made Isak go through the last few days.

Even looked taken aback, clearly not expecting Isak to say what he had, and went back to looking down at his shoes, which were very close to Isak’s.

“I don’t think I dealt with this situation the way I should have” Even said, slowly, as if he was carefully picking which word came out of his mouth.

“What situation?” Isak asked, not sure what Even wanted from him. Isak turned his body slightly as well, mimicking Even, but still not looking up to his face.

Even sighed, turning his face up, looking quickly to the sky before turning his stare to Isak, searching for his eyes.

“Isak” God, his name sounded so good from Even’s mouth, he had to force himself to maintain his gaze down and not at Even’s eyes, as he knew that would make it so much more difficult to remember he had to stay away, that Even had a girlfriend, that he lied about wanting to be with Isak “I like you. A lot. I mean it.” Isak snapped his head up so fast he almost felt dizzy. His stomach felt empty – and not because he as hungry – and his heart sped up. Both their gazes locked into each other and Isak felt his mouth opening slightly.

“What do you mean?” Isak wanted to punch himself for once more asking a question that probably made him sound condescending in Even’s ears. But he didn’t understand. Why was Even saying that? Why would he say that? Why, when just a few days before he was kissing Sonja at a party after sending Isak a text that made it very clear he wanted nothing to do with him? “Why are you saying that? Why did–“ Isak stopped himself, once again dropping his gaze to his shoes. His sneakers weren’t that old, but Isak used them so much that you could clearly see they were starting to get worn out. His shoelaces were a bit dirty and a bit loose. He should tighten them before they actually loosened up and made him trip. That would just be very embarrassing. His thoughts were interrupted by Even touching his right foot with his own, making him once again look up.  
“Isak” The name once again. Isak swallowed as Even stared deep into his eyes “I should have talked to you in person before. I’m sorry.”

“Maybe” Isak exhaled, deciding that maybe, if Even wanted so much to talk about it, then he should do just that and speak his thoughts “Maybe you shouldn’t have sent a text out of nowhere to let me know you weren’t interested. Maybe I should have taken a hint and not be so surprised to see you never left Sonja at all.”

Getting that out of his chest felt good and terrifying at the same time. Even looked startled and Isak once again dropped his gaze, grabbing the plate that held his sandwich with both hand before laying it on the bench. Isak pulled his jacked off his shoulder, where it had been hanging out of, and put it on, suddenly much more aware of how cold it was.

“What do you mean I never left Sonja at all?” Even asked and Isak found it hard to read his emotions.

“Even” That was the first time Isak was saying his name and heard Even taking a breath “You don’t need to pretend. I saw you at Emma’s party.”   
Saying that hurt. Seeing Even kiss Sonja at the party was a reminder that nothing in Isak’s life ever worked like he wished it would. He had hoped, when he saw Even at the party, that maybe he could reach him and they could talk about what was happening and go back to where they stopped. Get back to being together. Back to weekends on his bed, fooling around wearing only underwear (and maybe less than that), smoking joints in his room and watching movies so high they laughed at every scene. But that would never happen, because Even had lied about breaking up with his girlfriend and they would never go back to that again.

“No” Even said, quickly “I-I didn’t know you were there.” He sounded exasperated, stuttering slightly, his voice cracking a bit at the end of the sentence.

Isak chuckled.

“Yeah” Fuck, Isak felt like shit. He really didn’t want to be having this conversation, he didn’t want to hear about how Even was just so happy with his girlfriend and would never leave her for a guy – let alone Isak. 

“I’m not back together with her” Even said and Isak looked at him. What the fuck?

“What the fuck? You don’t have to lie to me Even, you were fucking kissing her at a party. Listen, I-“ Isak took a breath “I get it. Okay? You’ve been with her for years. It’s fine. I don’t mind. We really don’t need to talk about how you don’t wanna be with me. It’s fine.” Isak didn’t realize how fast he’d been talking until he stopped and breathed again. He put his hands on his face, scratching his eyes.

“Stop!” Even said, loud enough that Isak turned his face to him yet again. Even had a look on his face that Isak had never seen before. He looked almost angry, eyebrows furrowed and cheeks red “That’s not true, Isak!” Even grabbed Isak’s hand so tightly it almost hurt. “I broke up with Sonja. We are not together anymore. I never lied to you.” His grip on Isak’s hand loosened a little and he rubbed his thump up and down the back of Isak’s hand. Isak felt his heart racing even more, not understanding what was happening “At the party –“ Even looked down at their hands “Sonja and I…we dated for years. She knows everything there is to know about me. Almost everything. And she…she is very controlling.” Even continued caressing Isak’s hand as he spoke “She showed up at the party and kissed me and I let her because – because that’s what I’ve been doing for years.”

Isak wasn’t sure if his head had too many thoughts that he couldn’t keep track of, or if there were no thoughts at all. Even continued talking and all Isak could do was listen.

“And I guess I also let her because I wanted to get over you.” His voice was quiet, small. Their eyes met and Isak squinted, confused.

“Why?”

Even once again took a breath and looked around a bit, before locking eyes with Isak.

“I was scared. Because I like you too much and you barely know me.” He gave Isak a small smile and Isak could tell was not a happy one.

“Well, yeah, I’m not going to know you better if you don’t let me, will I?” Isak tried, voice trembling a little. He couldn’t really understand where Even was coming from, why Even would decide to back away from him because of the reasons he was giving Isak. But at the same time, Even seemed to be honest and Isak wanted to trust him.

“I guess not.” Even smiled and Isak melted a little bit. 

Isak saw Even’s gaze fall to his lips and followed the example, looking down to Even’s lips. Even slowly closed the distance between them and met Isak’s mouth with his own. The touch was light at first, barely there. Isak wanted more. His left hand came up to the back of Even neck, pulling him closer, while his other hand met Even’s tight, holding it firmly. 

Even seemed taken aback for a second, but didn’t take long to follow Isak, holding the other boy’s jacket with one hand and bringing the other to Isak’s cheek. Isak kissed Even’s bottom lip, touching it with his tongue, feeling Even do the same with his own lips. Soon their mouths were moving faster, harder, their tongues meeting and their hands gripping harder. Without warning, Even left Isak’s mouth, but never stopped toughing his skin with his mouth, pressing his lips against Isak’s cheek and trailing to his neck.

As Even kissed the skin just bellow Isak’s ear, Isak could feel his whole body shiver and the feeling going straight to the middle of his legs. With the hand he still had on the back of Even’s neck, he grabbed Even’s hair and pulled it back a little bit, just enough that their faces were close, but not touching.

“I don’t think doing this at school is a great idea” Isak breathed and Even blinked, pulling himself further away from Isak.

“Oh, sorry.” He looked around them, as if looking for anyone who could be watching them “I don’t think there’s any–“

“No, not because of that.” He probably should be worried about people seeing them, but he couldn’t care less “How many classes do you have left?”

“Two.” Even’s hand made its way inside of Isak’s jacket, caressing his torso, and once again Isak felt the shiver. “But I’m sure they wouldn’t notice if I didn’t show up.”

Yes, they probably would. But right now, Isak couldn’t care less.

“Let’s go back to my place” Isak suddenly felt incredibly brave.

“Don’t you have classes?”

“Something more important showed up.”

Even pressed two quick kisses on Isak’s moth and Isak could feel his smile.

Later that day, when Isak was laying on his bed, wearing a lot less layers than he had been before, one knee up, one hand holding onto the pillow underneath his head and the other one buried on Even’s hair, who was making his way down Isak’s stomach with wet kisses, Isak almost couldn’t remember how being angry felt like.


End file.
